I used to know exactly who I was. Or at least, I thought I did. I had a version of myself that I'd been performing so consistently for so long that I'd stopped noticing it was a performance. I knew my role. I knew my place. I knew how to be the person everyone around me needed me to be. And then, somewhere in my early forties, that version of me started to feel like a coat that no longer fitted. Not dramatically. Not all at once. Just tight across the chest, restrictive in wa